A Plea to Chris Yates

here like Yatesy yer na, a don't know you but I saw Davey Fletcher in the pizza shop last nite. I was like asking about the footie team and when i could get back in the cricket club yer na. He reckons Yatesy is a fine footballer like like like yer na and that your dad own Yates wine lodge in Durham. If this is tru like mate, can ye have a word with yer dad as I am barred (and have been since 7.18pm on 17/05/2006). Yates' Wine Lodge is my favourite bar in Durham on a Monday yer na as its only £1.37 a pint. Please have a word on my behalf.

Cheers mate yer na.

PS Can anyone put a good word in for me around the village like. Drinking cans on the streets in this cold weather is like causing havoc wi me gowt.

aint gunna happen michael, but i do wish we could maybe get you into the club as a one off thing maybe on presentation nite as the lads would like to see how much you can actually drink,maybe a steady 19 pints or so? that way you wont be to drunk or touch anyones wife!

do we think thats fair boys?

i will try and put a good word in with chinn if u get back in i will be watching down on u

Yer na lads i really appreciate your efforts like like like yer na. I have changed in recent months yer na and I would never hassle a woman or anything bad yer na. I just like a (canny) few beers and maybe a few tabs. If I could get back in the cricket club I would be the proudest man in Sacriston. If so please let me know before tomorrow as I have just received my giro..........

Yatesy, have you managed to have a word with yer dad - Yates Wine lodge have some great special offers on a friday. If ye buy 36 pints (and drink them) ye get yer 37th and 38th free!

mr hall so why exactly did you get kicked out the cricket club? must of been bad as seen as tho you drink 30 odd pints in a session thought they may have shown you some leniency!

if u start going to church and start praying u might have a chance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD HAS SPOKEN

Mr Booth,

I got kicked out of the CC for nowt yer na. I never hoyed up in the bin, I didn't grope any women, i didn't become a general pest to everybody, or anything else that was rumoured like like like yer na. Quite simply I was born in an era that doesn't understand me. I like think I am a sixties child (a bit like Austin Powers). I believe in free love, free beer, free tabs, free gowt tablets and swinging with other mens wives yer na. Can't see a problem really - I am misunderstood yer na.

i feel for you my son although think you are slightly disturbed

Michael Hall once came to the Jockey had to chase the cunt was being a right tight twat with his ciggies