The road to recovery

Ahem like yer na Richie, ahem alright like mate? Could you like ask Chin if I can get back in the club yet yer na? I really like like like the club yer na. Ahem I used to be the best customer in there yer na but then I got barred like. Ahem I’ve fairly settled down since I was run over. It was quite a shock to me and I have fairly changed my ways like. I still go out for a drink but have fairly cut down. Like I only have between like 26 – 28 pints per day now (I do smoke more tabs now though because of the stress of the accident).

I have like been to physio today for my injured shoulder yer na. It feels much better now and I only wear my sling in the pub for the sympathy vote when I am cadging beer and tabs yer na. The physio reckons I need to like get fit yer na and suggested I start football again. I used to play at school as a creative midfielder. I once get a medal at school for football. The physio watched me doing kick ups today at dryburn yer na. He reckons I am like a cross between Tony Adams, Paul Merson and Paul Gascgoine yer na.

If Chin will let me back in the club yer na, I will like play for like your team yer na. All I want is 100 tabs per game and a hip flask of Tequila for half time like like like yer na. If you can’t afford my rate I will play for a quids worth of Dobsons fizzbomb's. Please ask Chin and let me know like mate yer na.

its people like you who i intend to free the world from

Like howay like mate. Nee need for that like yer na. I am a Sacriston lad and don't want nee trouble yer na how mate. Maybe we could meet up and you could buy my beer and tabs and we could be best friends yer nar?

Like Richie mate, you better put my football comeback on hold yer na. I was just out in the street paying cuppies with our Geraldine. Ahem my next door neighbour Michael Park has just run me over in his RS turbo. Our Geraldine kicked the ball under his car and I climbed under to get it back yer na like like yer na. The horrible pig just reversed over my foot and was laughing like yer na. I think its broken but it could just be the gout cos i haven't had my tablets today ahem. Ahem ahem ahem I am like going for like an xray and 12 cans now yer na like mate. Like I will ahem let you know about the injury like mate yer na.

yak yak

I remember playing footie with the legend that is Micheal Hall at the stade de wellfare many years ago.

Geordies v Makems.

What a player and drinker.

Get well soon Micheal

yak yak

Ahem like ye nar lads, the comeback is still on. I have just back from like the hospital ye nar. They did like these tests yer nar. Apparently my ankle is just like sprained ye nar but my liver is fooked. The doc reckons av only got one season left at the top ye nar.

When is the next practice yer na? I have just won some football socks off Jeff Wells in the Robin Hood domino handicap. They are black - can I wear them like yer na?

Ahem I have just been for a lap of the back garden in me ne socks yer na and i feel terrible hew yer na. I might swap my new footie socks for some DVT flight socks instead yer na. I've lost all feeling below me knees like yer na.