After the Season????

If you could dream about what would happen after the season what would happen? Here is my tongue in cheek look at the future!

John Robson
Rambo would give up the hard life and decide that shooting innocent Iraqi’s is not the way ahead. He would leave the forces at the request of his beloved girlfriend and spend every Saturday in the Metrocentre. He would be allowed out once a month with the lads (shit that’s really happened!)

Shanka
After losing the captaincy he would retire from football and start a male beauty clinic on Segga front street. It would be called Mr Metrosexual. He would appoint Robert Nixon as manager of the sunbeds.

Liam Burn
After being voted player of the season he would become a real star in the North East. He would do Xmas panto at Sunderland Empire along with Big Brother’s Anthony Hutton. Liam would play “Puss-in-(football)-Boots. Also finds true love with Neil Dawson!

Gareth
Having struggled to repeat his previous seasons form, he quits football and opens a male escort service. Along with his 3Ball partner, Martin Hubber they both have sexual intercourse with over 25000 women and make millions along the way. Sadly Gareth contract HIV from a bottom – estater and does not see his his 25th birthday. His millions of pounds are donated to Durham Fire Brigade (for the trouble he has caused them).

Richie Hilton
After 2 successful campaigns Richie is now classed as big cheese in footballing circles. Abramovich loses faith in Maurinho and Hilton becomes manager of Chelsea. He wins every trophy in his first season before retiring a multi-billionaire. Sadly at the end of season party he sinks Roman Abramovich’s luxury yacht in the South of France. Thankfully he does survive and becomes a pundit on Sky TV where he smacks Alan Shearer.

Colly
Despite his captaincy heroics, he gets outrageously drunk and aggressive at the presentation evening. He becomes very jealous as Bob Louis gets “most improved” trophy and attacks him with an axe. He gets 12 years in Strangeways Prison, Manchester.

Coiler
After taking anger management courses he finally chills out and also stops gambling. Him and missus start the “Coiler Cult” which is a hippy commune. They all live over the Bombies in a self sustaining farm where free love is encouraged. They also create a new beer to rival Coilers beloved brown ale.

Bob Louis
After Colly’s axe attack, Bob is in hospital for a month. He comes out more intelligent before and can spell his own name. He enters the CC quiz and gets 8/25. Awesome.

Fenton
Beckham spots Fenton on holiday at a Caribbean resort. He immediately likes what he sees and signs Fenton up to his “Spiceboy” label. Fenton and his missus emigrate to LA and become neighbours of the Beckhams. In his first season in pro football, Fenton leads LA Galaxy to league glory.

John Embleton
Celebrates the CC league win too hard and becomes a proper plonky. He sells his league winners medal on Ebay and squanders the money in the Robin Hood.

Yatesy
Joins Olympic 100m relay team and wins gold in the world indoor championships. Unfortunately he fails the drug test and is sent home in disgrace. He regains his job at Soccer World and works on till the age of 73.

Phil Blayden
Impregnates 23 females during weekend celebration. He has never been seen since as he works 24 hours per day trying to pay the CSA.

Mark Blayden
Takes player/manager role at CC after Hilton departure to Chelsea. He is helped by his father. Immediate relegation follows and Mark attacks his father with a plasterers trowel. Now in psychiatric care.

Martin Hubber
See Gareth Sharpe

Harry Hubber
Found botted to death in Rockshots toilets aged 31. His funeral procession is like a scene out of the Blue Oyster bar.

Kev Coates
Arrested on terrorist charges whilst trying to go on holiday with his new bird and kids. Deported to Guantanamo Bay.

Fletch
Mysteriously vanished after last game of season. There have been reported sightings down the River Brownie

Greg Coates
Offered the lead role in Shrek 6. Now a multi-millionaire. He bought the Blue Star and lives in the house above with Charlene Murphy.

Mark Fort
Currently doing a 16 year stretch for 3 armed robberies and a fraud charge. Apparently police would not have found him had it not been for the stench left at each crime scene

Neil Dawson
Still playing for Segga CCFC and living with his long term partner – Liam Burn.



Carlsberg don’t do dreams but if they did they would probably be the best in the world!

wesley you are a legend my friend!

nice post wes keep them coming sweetheart.. but fekin hell you must have a boring life or not many pensions to sort out to write that sort of post

TT I assume you now think I am Hubber Snr judging by the pensions reference? I hope so! Feel free to abuse the crap out of him as it will be very funny as I sit back and enjoy the mayhem as you abuse the baldy gaylord. I am not willing to give my identity out just yet - besides that a couple of you already know. I am willing to tell you who I am not!

I am not Hubber

I am not Daver

I am not Liam

I just think some of you are looking too far into things! I am in front of your eyes. Next time you're having a pint just open your eyes! How does that song go:

They seek him here
They seek him there....

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM Not many of the lads are clever enough to cover their tracks aswell as you or to write these posts........ As for hubber theres definately a bit of pinochio in him... How else could anyone apart from kevin lowerson have a nose that big??????

Basically I am a genius and have the wonderful teachers at Fyndoune to thank. Without Mr Chivers I would be nothing today. I would be working as crisp box packer at Philleas Fogg in Consett earning £1.45 an hour. Instead I am a Pensions Pufterha ha. Oh no TT I am not Hubber but as I said in my private message abuse the baldy, big nosed cunt anyway. Am I a dab hand in fixing boilers? Am I football coach? Am I a delivery driver? Maybe a plasterer? Maybe I am on the dole. I do seem to have a lot of time on my hands..........

Keep it real my friend. As Borat says "I like you!"

By wes your a hard nut to crack but maybe i can put the pilot light out soon!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm intrigued, is the "open your eyes when drinking your next pint" a clue? some sort of riddle? Dare wesley leave more clues?

Find out in the next episode of, I'm bored and have far to much time on my hands.......

Local Gimp,

Love the mask! I would love to jizz all over it.

Yep there is a clue/riddle in my previous post. Just sit back take a long slurp of your pint and enjoy every little bit. I will be with you, just find me my friend. Open your eyes and your mind cos I WILL be watching you, I guarantee it. Will you recognise me?

So m8t your pictures around there somewhere i take it yeah?? Ex cricketer ex football player or maybe an ex member.. Did you get breasfed when you where a kid wesley??

Come on TT keep it clean....

Ian (the dark horse) hunter, assisted by harry (the fruit bat/daddy) hubber?

Hunter/Hubber in it together eh?????? Interesting theory - could well be true

I definitely no who Wes is. One of the gilty people let it slip yesterday

Its Fenton and Coils togetha

Stu you have got be more careful what you say when youre pissed!

Thanks mate you have brightend up a very dull foram.

Long live Wes

I dont think that i can quite believe this as their crack isnt that good!!!!!!! But if so fair play lads william hills takings must be well down with you 2 spending so much time on here!!!!!

Was ganna say like havent seen the 2 lads in bookies for a while like - i will be out on sunday for anotha good drink wi you lads - good crack and a few canny drinkers amongst u lads - but that stewy cant drink shorts mind !