Who are you?

After careful thought I have put together a list of us footballers and compared them to drinks - see what you think? If you are on here are you offended?

Jon Robson is Diamond White

Strong, Cool but can cause havoc very quickly. Definitely a real killer. Also popular with women.



Shanka is Malibu

Not bad initially but makes you bored and sick quickly. Quite weak with no real kick. Cant decide if its best for men or women.



Liam Burn is Shandy

Not bad at times but no real oomph. Lacks strength or character.



Gareth Sharpe is Aftershock

Small but difficult to stomach. Smells vile and makes you want to vomit.



Richard Hilton is Pint of Guiness

Heavy, full bodied and full of calories. Can give you a real headache.



Colly is half of guinness

Small with strong head but leaves a bitter taste in yer mouth.



Coiler is of course Brown Ale

Large, powerful and wicked to women. Should come with a health warning



Rob Louis is John Smiths.

Ave it – might not be the brightest beer on sale it will never let you down. Definitely No Nonsense.



Fenton is any Cocktail

Bonny colours and pleasing on the eye. Ladies love this one. Got to be hand mixed cos can’t be associated with BOTTLE.



Jon Embleton is Single Malt Whiskey

One for the older generation but still highly regarded.



Chris Yates

Anything cos his dad is the Wine Lodge



Phil Blayden is Boddingtons

Full of creamy goodness but bad for the belly.



Mark Blayden is Absynthe

Short but with a wicked side. Capable of maximum destruction after a few



Martin Hubber – Fosters

Cheap and cheerful but good for all day sessions. Does funny things to women.



Harry Hubber – Slippery Nipple

Often found in gay haunts. Queer taste and vile looking



Kev Coates is Dark Rum

Black and Vile



Fletch is Magners

Head full of apples but pleasant overall.



Greg Coates is Diesel

A feisty mix that can turn yer stomach. Also wipes out thoughts of love-making.



Jonny Stark is Becks (bottle not David)

Overpriced and over-rated.



Mark Fort is a mixed top-shelfer

Stinks, does yer head in and can prove costly if you stick with this one.



Chin is Smirnoff Vodka

Strong but can do yer head in after a while. Can provide fun if added to the right mixer

Neil Dawson is Kaliber

Alright if yer need a car to get home.

Can anyone think of any others?

Thats one of best posts this year mate i'll get thinking for others but dont want to ruin it

what about them blue wkd and port we call crazy vimtos for nixon makes your breath bad bit like his! top work wesley

Mr Burn please add your opinions, comments or thoughts. Its supposed to get banter going rather than offend anyone. As we enter a tense period of the season everyone can get a bit too serious. Sundays are our serious times - stuff like this is meant to be light hearted and a bit of an escape.

Good call Billy son - spot on for Nixon. To be honest Ii was gonna put Nixon down as a Donner meat cocktail mixed with horse shite and freshly squeezed sprout juice. His breath f*cking honks!!!

Think i'd be more kronenbourg 1664 or stella boys.... not one for all day sessions?

As for others how abotu Cristal? Any fucker we never see in a bar (Dawson, G.Embleton, Pottsy etc)

Goody is fine wine - touches of class but not the quickest of drinks, also can be full bodied

brilliant post was in stitches reading that!!!!

topic of the season so far without doubt, real thought and quite a bit of poise showed i think! you got the descriptions off to a tee, send me a private message wesley and tell me who you are and i will buy you a pint for that one!

S G Fenton,

you and your numerous log-ins amuse me. You are interesting but seriously disturbed. However I do not want your free beer. If you want to know who I am then come on, find out! I challenge you!

A CLUE
One of your closest friends is in this with me. They know my identity. Can you get to the bottom of this great mystery? I will bet you that pint you offered me?